OH MAH GAWD IT IS SOOO HAWT OUTSIDE

 we all feel how uncomfortable it is, we all have sweat dripping in places we would rather not have sweat in, and everyone has that gross sticky film all over their bodies YET we feel the need to announce it to the world. I'M HOT. IT'S HOT. OH MAH GAWD I'M GONNA MELT. SOMEONE TURN OF THE SUN. But seriously. We get it.

It's days like these when I bow down to my air conditioner, and strategically plan my day around shops that blast cool air at you to entice you inside (Walk down Walnut for some cooling breezes). And right now, I'm sitting in the lovely air conditioned green room of the Philadelphia Shakespeare Theatre. And it's just delightful. But I know the minute I step outside again I'm gonna get punched in the face by humidity and my body will react by seeping water out of ever pore and making my whole body itch. It's gonna be grand. GRAND I TELL YOU.

Here are some delicious things to eat when you're too hot to move and your brain is frying up like the egg you ate for breakfast:

frozen mango
watermelon
frozen strawberries
frozen peaches
cucumbers
FROZEN ANYTHING

eat smaller meals, your body won't produce nearly as much metabolic heat

eat something spicy! seriously, the heat in your mouth with enhance circulation and will make you sweat and look disgusting, but you'll cool down.

drink WATER. put down the Corona and opt for some good old H20. Alcohol dehydrates the body. But you knew that already right?

avoid the java. Caffeine also stimulates the metabolism which causes your body to heat up.

Put your clothes in the fridge. It'll work. Throw your shirts or what have you in a ziploc ad pop them in the fridge overnight. Yeah, you'll squeal from the chill when you throw it on, but you'll be happy you did when your core is as cool as a cucumber (see, told you they were cool!).

think of things like this:

And remember, it's gonna thunderstorm like crazy soon so SUCK IT UP AND SWEAT IT OUT.